It's after 10 pm, on the eve of ...

a really big birthday. I have insisted to many inquirers of my birthday and the age I'll be this year, that until this hour of this day, I would not be "almost" anything. Yeah, right....tell my gray hair, wrinkles, saggy ___ (various options here), and an even older spouse and growing kids, that I'm not "almost"...dare I say it, 40?!

Hmmm...shouldn't I be out celebrating, acting like a 20-year old, kicking up my heels, gettin' my groove on, or something? Maybe I should be in Vegas, gambling our savings away (actually a couple of rolls of nickels at the slot machines would be all I could handle). Maybe I should be in my PJs, eating a pint of Ben & Jerrys? Actually, I should be doing my homework...

OR, maybe I should be doing just want I am. Hanging out at home after a fun day with my friend Angela on Friday at Paper Pals, and after an ill-fated quest for a Funnel Cake from the Latah Co. Fair with April and Heather (long story), and after a great chick flick with friends (Sex and the City) and today, a contemplative and solitary day of errand running and a little shopping, all leading up to dinner and a (weird) movie with John.

This is good. 2+ days of me-time...thinking, praying, singing, reading, contemplating. Now I could put on the totally cheery "blog-face" and say, no biggie, who cares, whatever. But, really, this is a tough one...I know it is silly and sort of vain, but ... time is speeding up my friends...it waits for no one.

So...here's to tomorrow. I've contemplated enough. Tomorrow...I focus on just how blessed I truly am. Thank you to my Mom for having me, and both of my parents for putting up with me (especially as a pre-schooler and again as teenager...yikes!). Thanks to John for loving me, and the kids for thinking I'm the best Mom ever! I am blessed beyond what I ever imagined...

A