Head blogger: Anita Cory, wife, mom of 3, sister, sorority alumnae, Christian, Sorority/Fraternity Life professional at WSU, former Paper Pals Design Team member, dissertation writer, and all around friendly 40-something in Pullman, Washington.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

On being a Mom.

Since my Mom passed away in 2009, Mother's Day has been a day with mixed emotions for me. How blessed I am to be a mother, to my three, but how sad I am without my own mother here anymore. It is our Moms who believe in us no matter what we do, cry with us when we are hurting and rejoice with us when we succeed! We should celebrate our mothers, not just on Mother's Day, but every day. 

For me, the word mother is synonymous with love. My own mother's example showed me what it truly means to have unconditional love for another person. There for every major milestone and setback that I have ever experienced, my Mom was my coach, teammate and cheerleader in the game of life. She served as a constant reminder that whether I am up or down, in or out, right on time or missing in action, I was always loved! 

I spent some time reflecting on Sunday and a particular quote caught my attention, and in my melancholy space, explained so much. "The mother-child relationship is paradoxical and, in a sense, tragic. It requires the most intense love on the mother's side, yet this very love must help the child grow away from the mother, and to become fully independent."  -Erich Fromm

My Mom raised me to be a very independent kid, teenager, college student, young adult, and now parent.  In being so independent, I can only imagine now, how she must have grieved many of my decisions (particularly the one to move far away...and as it turns out, never return).  The tragedy then, is she had the tough challenge of learning to let go. As my children have grown older, and I contemplate one leaving home (for college) a year for now, I now realize this sometimes painful, but necessary process, is made possible by love.

In a nutshell, if I love my kids, I must raise them, as my Mom did me, to spread their wings, and leave me.  My heart paradoxically breaks and soars at this thought.

Happy (belated) Mother's Day everyone.